Bella Donna CoachingAm I In A Healthy Relationship???
Aren’t new relationships just the best! The nervousness and excitement, not always knowing what to say or do, holding hands…. you know all the stuff you see in romcoms. That little bubble you find yourself in, in a new relationship can be one of the most amazing feelings you get to experience as a human being. It can, however, sometimes create this amazing Instagram filter between your dreams of a fairytale relationship and reality. It is important to allow yourself to enjoy each moment and milestone you share with your other half. Just keep in touch with your intuition, it’s usually spot on!
So how do you tell the difference?
• No one couple is the same so when people say you need to have a lot in common it can be true when it comes to morals, religion, or maybe politics if that is what’s important to you. Then in certain cases opposites attract. What’s important is that you support each other in your separate passions and goals and that you celebrate each other’s successes, even if it may not benefit the both of you.
• There is an equal compromise. If you find yourself always having to give up your girl’s night to stay in and watch the game with the boys, there is a problem. In every relationship, there needs to be an
equal give and take. You need to set boundaries with your partner from the beginning, letting them know that you are both equal in the relationship and that there is no problem with him watching the
next game AL SOLO.
• You don’t play the BLAME Game. When you have done something that may have hurt the other person you own up and take responsibility. You are not apologizing if there is a BUT involved. Saying sorry is also not a replacement for changing what you are sorry for. Have you ever heard the saying, “Loving someone means never having to say you are sorry?”
• Communication. Communication. COMMUNICATION! No healthy relationship is built off of throwing things under the rug. You need to be able to talk to your partner without making them feel attacked. Make them understand what you are feeling and go about confronting disagreements with a level head. Don’t run into it hot-tempered ready to ace the BLAME game! There must be an environment where you can honestly and respectfully talk about your problems. This works both ways and you need to learn to listen without getting defensive at everything they say.
• Your relationship isn’t just work, you have to have some fun and bring out the playful side in each other. You know how to get your partner excited about life. It could be planning a secret date night in. This could ignite the romance, especially during this lockdown climate. Never become complacent. It is important no matter how long you have been in a relationship to surprise your loved one and make them feel special. Remember if you are the only one making the effort it is not OKAY, Relationships are a two-way street.
You will know when you are in a happy and loving relationship. As soon as you think you see a red flag listen to that little voice inside your head because it is valid. This doesn’t mean ending it after any sign of discomfort.
• This is my last tip and it is an important one. No healthy relationships are perfect. Do not let anyone fool you. There will be times in a relationship where you have an issue with your partner, but you both need to decide to make the effort to communicate and fix it.
You owe it to yourself to find someone who will love, respect, and care for you as much as you will for
them.
