Bella Donna CoachingLife Long Unlearning
Growth is not just about Learning…. BUT Unlearning.
What do I mean by unlearning?
Have you ever had an amazing business idea, that woke you from your sleep and that you thought would change the course of your entire life? You are super excited the whole morning and you can’t stop thinking of how you would carry it out. You are singing in the shower and dancing into your clothes but as soon as you start planning it you find yourself procrastinating, doubting, and giving up?
BEWARE: This is imposter syndrome. You may be fully qualified and prepared, but your self-doubt and negative self-talk are so strong that your mind tricks you into believing you are an IMPOSTER! No one is going to want to hear what you have to say, no one is going to gain from what you have to offer or would even be interested. So you GIVE UP!
My experience was sitting in my Economic Studies class, filled to the brim with students from all backgrounds staring intently at the lecturer with baited breathe, hanging on every word he had to say. While I was sitting at the back confused, scared, and ready to jump out of my seat as soon as class was over. All because I didn’t feel clever enough.
Negative self-talk is something we need to unlearn. This will be a challenge, because you may have a lifetime of negative self-talk that you want to change. It will be a challenge because the easiest thing to do is give up. This will be a challenge because procrastination has been your crutch.
It won’t happen in a day and it is not a once-off. Life long unlearning is a real thing. Just like we must never stop learning we must never stop unlearning the negativity that has been ingrained in us. The judgment of ourselves and others needs to be unlearned. Comparing needs to be unlearned. Self-sabotage needs to be unlearned.
So how do we unlearn something?
Start with observing yourself. Set alarms in the day if you have to. Stop and observe what you were thinking at that moment. Was it negative, judgmental, or self-sabotaging? Don’t judge yourself, just observe for a week. You will be shocked at how negative you may be.
Then you can move on to unlearning. Every time you have a bad thought. Stop and change it to the opposite positive thought, write it down, frame it as just a thought (it’s not reality). We have the power to create our reality.
You will soon realize what you need to unlearn and why your life has not moved forward.
When you have time in the day repeat the replacing positive thoughts you have written down. Emotionalize replacing positive thoughts. Smile, dance even sing if you have to, to change that negative mindset. This is you changing the narrative in your mind and learning to unlock your power.
The key is to use unlearning and learning together to create the life YOU choose.
